Friday, August 22, 2008

It's getting closer...

We are now at 27 weeks, and officially less than three months away from Tammy Damascus' due-date. So far this pregnancy thing has gone quite smoothly, and I feel very blessed and grateful for that fact. Please, oh please, let my pregnancy continue this way!

I've always anticipated that I would enjoy pregnancy. It's like the greatest science experiment ever - and you don't have to compete with a lab partner to see all the good stuff. I'm my own test tube. As exciting as this is, there are some very surreal moments to pregnancy.

It's hard to articulate the feelings of being pregnant - beyond the obvious physical symptoms. On one hand, my body is supporting this new life, but on the other hand, this baby isn't a part of me. It's a new life and already has it's own whims.

As of late I've been reminded of this while sitting in meetings. Baby is now large enough that when excited, all the swims and kicks make my belly jump. I've found myself covering my stomach with my hands or papers when chatting with colleagues to hide this activity - as at work, I am still me and need to be on task and professional. Baby apparently is not interested in my professionalism and perhaps is already interested in the limelight? Or software development and/or marketing? Clearly, we already have a lot in common.

Another strange thing about pregnancy: I think I had a slight idea that baby would know what I was thinking while in the womb. Yes, I realize this sounds ridiculous. It is as though I somehow thought that we would be able to communicate telepathically while connected via the umbilical cord. Not for real, but just sort of... I was not crazy enough to think that I would hear baby's thoughts, but that baby would mysteriously hear/receive mine and understand what I meant. Again, I didn't really literally think this was true/would happen - I think it was just floating in the back of my mind as a maybe. I frequently find myself talking to baby in my mind. While I am very sure this type of communication works as prayer, I have to keep reminding myself that baby can hear - my voice, not my thoughts. If I want to talk to baby, I have to talk out loud.

Certainly, talking out loud when no one is around is what actually makes you crazy.

Dilemma?

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