Leif had lived with us for more than a year, and was a better roommate than we could have hoped for. His presence in the house always felt like family. His dry humor and creative talents will be sorely missed.
Once Leif had moved on, we spent the weekend in a home renovation project of sorts. We shampooed all the carpets in our apartment, and completely rearranged the furniture in every room. We also finally put together the crib.
During crib construction, I unexpectedly burst into tears. Putting the crib together added a reality to our situation that for some reason hit home closer than the kicks to my rib cage and frequent indigestion:
I'm pregnant and we're going to have a baby.
Not only am I pregnant and going to go through labor and birth, but then we are going to bring baby home to live with us. Baby is going to share our home for at least 18 years. Baby will influence the movies we watch, the places we live, the furniture we choose and the directions of our careers. Baby will affect our marriage, our friendships and our family. This is heady stuff.
While all of these things can be pondered (worried about) in advance, my goal through the rest of my pregnancy is to focus only on the day at hand, trusting that each day will take care of itself.
On a different note, I think Dan is having a nervous breakdown. After Leif left, he wandered around the house with a confused look. Once we started moving the furniture, and brought in a very loud carpet shampooer, he looked positively terrified. He has since spent his time following me around the house so closely that I have nearly tripped over him multiple times. This is not cute or acceptable.
Dan, here's the straight talk you're craving:
"Stop following me around the house. If you make me trip and squish baby, I will kick you. That's right. I said it. I will kick you.
And then I'll feel guilty because I know it's probably my fault that you follow me around like you're blind and I'm the light. But really Dan, it's time for you to get your own life. This baby is really going to mess with your game, and I'd hate for you to be a baby naysayer. You're an important member of our family, and I hope you can pull yourself together and be a part of the team. We'll all be happier if you can get your neuroses under control. And I love you. Your dog smell is pleasant and I enjoy rubbing your belly - when it hasn't recently been under my feet. So calm down."
